Undaunted
by FallenAngels321
Summary: 16 year old Eleanor Johnson is forced to make the impossible decision of leaving behind her mother, like her four older siblings did, or staying behind with her in Candor. But her choice has some unforgiving consequences that she cannot avoid. Alongside her new friends, she must face her biggest fears, solve the mysteries of her past and make it out of initiation alive.
1. An Impossible Decision

******So I finally finished re-editing Undaunted! :D I didn't make many major changes after the first couple of chapters, but I think it would be to the reader's benefit to go back and read the beginning again because there were some major changes made to Eleanor's parents. Thank you so much for your patience, and Chapter Eight will be up by Monday (hopefully)!  
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CHAPTER ONE

_6:37am_

The sunrise never fails to amaze me. When night falls, it looks as if the world is doomed forever into a perpetual state of darkness, like the color has been sucked out of the sky with a vacuum. But when orange streaks start to appear in the dull grey sky suddenly, everything has hope again. Tomorrow becomes today. Today becomes yesterday. You can totally turn your life around, or things can stay basically the same as they were the day before.

I rub my palms against my pajama pants since they have become red and irritated from digging into the roof shingles for so long. I have been sitting here for an eternity it seems, waiting for the glowing ball of fire to rise high up into the clouds.

Streaks of orangish-pink light dance across the sky, a torch to the new day. While the sun illuminates the city, casting beams in every direction, I find myself sighing. I have climbed onto the roof of my house every morning since I was eleven to wake with the city and the sky. It used to be a small act of defiance, because my father once scolded me and my best friend Poppy for sun tanning on her roof. At this point it isn't even something I enjoy; it's just something I naturally do.

The sky becomes more and more radiant as the vivid colors rise higher, reaching beyond the stretches of the Hancock Building, the old abandoned Ferris wheel over by the pier, and my very own faction's headquarters, nicknamed the Merciless Mart.

Our blunt nature is often mistaken for rudeness, but it's better to hurt someone with the truth than to comfort someone with a lie.

_7:39am_

I scramble under the ruffled covers as I hear my mother's footsteps coming towards the top of the stairs. For the five years I have been sneaking out onto my roof, I haven't been caught once, and I intend on keeping it that way. The door creaks as my mother enters, humming an unfamiliar tune.

"Morning, Eleanor!" she says in a singsong voice, one she only uses when she is trying to get me to do something I don't want to. "Rise and shine!"

I groan, pretending I just woke up five seconds ago and not two hours ago.

Slowly, I rise out of my bed, my sheets still marked with the ghost of where my body was lying moments ago. My mother throws open the window that I had purposely closed after I climbed through it back into my room so she wouldn't become suspicious.

"Is it Aptitude Test day?" I grumble, a fake sleepy tone laced in my voice.

"Yes it is. Go on downstairs, I've already made breakfast. I'll make your bed, just this once," she says with a wink.

"Okay. Thanks, Mom."

I trot downstairs, eager to let her make my bed for me. I am not selfless, like the Abnegation. I am not kind, like the Amity. I don't exactly know _what _I am, which is why I'm more excited than apprehensive about the test today, even though I know that it will help me decide the fate of the rest of my life.

I turn the corner and enter the small, squat kitchen, a steaming plate of sausage and toast sitting on the table. As I inch closer to the worn wooden table, I notice a folded piece of paper taped to the back of my chair.

_"Happy sixteenth birthday, Ellie! I am so proud of you. -Mom"_

It just so happens that my birthday is on the same day as the Aptitude Test, which means twice the fussing. A lump forms in my throat so suddenly it threatens to choke me as I realize what other event my birthday is shared with.

_Ten years ago. Ten years ago today, my father killed himself._ This unfathomable fact is what usually keeps my birthday from being a joyous occasion. In Candor, birthdays are thoroughly celebrated festivities. Usually a party, ice cream and presents are in the question, but never for me. I shouldn't complain though, because socialization isn't really my forte.

Other than my best (and only) friend Poppy, and the small group of Candor misfits I sit with in the cafeteria by necessity, I don't exactly talk to anyone outside of my family.

My family is small and broken and incomplete, but they're still my family and I love them.

My watery smile fades as I set down the piece of paper and halfheartedly begin to shovel a sausage link into my mouth.

"Eleanor, would you quit eating like that?" my mother scolds as she walks briskly into the kitchen, obviously finished my bed.

"Like what? One of the Amity's hogs?" I snort a couple of times for effect and my mother laughs, the good kind of laugh that causes crinkles by her eyes and makes her entire body shake.

My mother steps towards me, running her hands through my thick, chestnut curls. She looks at me with intelligent green eyes, a delicate smile playing on her lips. Her eyes are wrinkled from years of smiling, laughing, and old age.

"Ah, my baby," she croons. "My last baby! And she's already sixteen!"

I roll my eyes. "Aw come on, Mom!"

But it's too late. _"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Eleanor. Happy birthday-"_

"Enough, enough!"I laugh, cutting off my mother's awful tone-deaf singing.

I quickly glance down at my watch. "Shit," I mutter as I realize that if I don't get to school in the next twenty minutes, I'll be late on my last day of school. I basically inhale the rest of the food, regretting that I don't get to savor the rest of my mother's delicious cooking.

I rush by my mom and clamber up the stairs, wishing I could spend more time with her today instead of boring myself to tears in class for three hours, taking a test we aren't even allowed to study for, and then doing another three hours of work. It's not that school isn't interesting to me; it's just that I'll probably be so hyped up about the Aptitude Test that I won't be able to focus at all.

I yank open my drawers, tossing different pairs of unsorted pants and tops onto the floor behind me. I finally settle on a pair of black and white vertically striped skin tight pants, a white t-shirt and a black blazer.

I stare into the mirror as I run a black comb through my knotted hair, still frizzy from being squished against my pillow. I have a long nose, a little pointier than I would like. When I was younger, my father used to call me his little 'husky', not because I was fat, but because I have heterochromia, something that is common in husky dogs. My right eye is a deep chocolate brown, the same color as my mother's brownies. My left though, is an ugly ditchwater colored greenish brown.

I let out a shaky breath. My personal insecurities are the least of my problems right now.

_7:54am_

"Hey, Poppy!" I shout to my next door neighbor and best friend, who sits on the railing of her porch, biting into an apple.

Her serene blue eyes meet mine and she grins goofily. "Eleanor! Hurry, we're going to be late!" Her voice is muffled by the apple still half chewed in her mouth.

Her dark brown bob bounces as she trots towards me in black sneakers, white jeans, and a long sleeved black shirt.

She clutches her brown paper bag, probably filled with the disgusting health food her mom always makes, tightly in her fist. I usually buy my lunch in the cafeteria, but today I will probably skip it since I don't have any appetite.

"Happy birthday, Ellie! Oh my God, you're actually _sixteen!" _Poppy squeals, squeezing my arm hard as we start towards the school.

"Ugh, will you shut up?" I say, rolling my eyes towards the sky. "And you really need to work on not being so spastic." I pull my arm away and shove her good naturedly. I act like I hate all the attention, but I really don't mind it. I'm not exactly self-absorbed, but it's nice for people to show their appreciation towards you once in awhile. It reminds you that you're not just another person, one who could be easily forgotten.

I think that we all need that sometimes. Reassurance.

"Fine," she says huffily, but I know she's not really mad. "I'm just so anxious for the test that I can't even control myself. I might just walk right up to Griffon and kiss him, right in front of everyone!"

I snort and pinch her arm. "Yeah, right. Kiss a Dauntless in front of all his friends? I'll believe it when I see it."

"Oh, blah! Let me be in love!"

"Just because you seem to be obsessed with every sixteen year old boy at our school, does not mean you know anything about _love. _That would be called infatuation, my dear Poppy." I inform her, flipping my hair subconsciously.

We approach the edge of the school's property, one of the few places where you can see all of the factions together at once.

Three Erudite girls sit on the bottom steps of the old building built of now crumbling bricks. Hiding behind their false glasses, their heads are buried in thick books, probably as heavy as a desk.

An Amity boy and girl are lounging at the base of an ancient oak tree, relaxing in the shade and talking peacefully.

A whole group of Candor boys and girls, including Poppy's friend Isabel, seem to be in a heated argument about something, their expressions stern and forceful.

And out of the corner of my eye I see a group of severe and threatening looking Dauntless hopping off the trains. I don't like to look at them too much, because honestly, they kind of scare me.

There is however, no grey clothed Abnegation anywhere to be seen. They are most likely helping teachers prepare their lessons for the day, or roaming the halls, waiting for the bell to ring. If the Stiffs stay outside any longer than needed, they can easily be harassed by some asshole Erudites looking for a fight.

Which faction will _I _choose?

Amity? Abnegation? Erudite? Candor? Dauntless?

The choice is impossible. But I'll have to make that impossible choice in less than twenty four hours.


	2. This Isn't A Fairytale

CHAPTER 2

_11:55am_

"Miss Johnson? Miss Johnson…?" I hear the angry voice of my faction history teacher and snap out of my daydream.

"Uh… yes, Mr. Gonzalez?" A few Erudite and Candor snicker from behind me.

"Would you mind answering my question?" he sighs, rolling his eyes.

"What was the question again, sir?" I ask nervously.

"What is the traditional greeting of the Dauntless?"

I breathe a sigh of relief. I know the faction customs off by heart. "Hand shaking."

"Correct. But please, for future reference, pay more attention during my class."

"Yes, Mr. Gonzalez." I reply politely, practically biting my tongue to keep from snapping that this would be my last time in his class anyways. For Erudite, he doesn't seem very smart sometimes. But I guess not everyone can follow their faction's virtues _all _the time. I can't be honest about everything; just like I'm sure some Dauntless would cower in a corner and cry for their mommies about some things as well.

The bell rings shrilly, excusing me from the last class before the aptitude test. I scoop up my pile of books and duck my head down as I briskly walk out of the classroom.

"Ellie!"

I jump, startled. Poppy stands leaning casually against the wall outside of my classroom, holding out half of her tuna sandwich.

"Yeah, Pop?" I ask, sidestepping out of the way of a Dauntless boy rushing towards the cafeteria.

"Want some?" she gestures to her half eaten sandwich.

"Um, no thanks. I'm not hungry," I say, supplying a small smile. "Let's head down to the cafeteria. Testing is starting."

_12:06am_

"Poppy Portoff from Candor, Bella Jackson from Abnegation and Ben Thomas from Amity," announces a woman wearing an Erudite blue dress, holding a clipboard.

"Good luck, Poppy!" giggles Isabel, a girl with frizzy blond hair and sparkling brown eyes. Everything Isabel says comes out like a giggle, and I haven't liked her since we were in the lower levels at school. Poppy, however, is one of her closest friends. She means well, but boy, sometimes I wish I could punch that silly smile off of her face.

"Thanks," Poppy mumbles as she gets out of her seat. Glancing at me, I give her an encouraging smile.

She disappears along with the other two kids behind different doors. I strain to see what the inside of the room looks like, but the door closes too quickly.

_Dammit, _I think_. I'll be stuck listening to Isabel's cheerful babble for however long it takes for Poppy to finish._

And there is nothing I hate more than cheerful babble. Well, except spiders, of course.

I eventually zone out halfway through her boring story, something about how her brother put her hand in a glass of warm water while she was asleep the other night and she peed herself (okay, _that _part I enjoyed) when something catches my eye.

A little to my right stands an Erudite boy, dressed in plain khaki pants and bright blue plaid shirt. I slowly raise my eyes to get a look at his face, but he is turned towards the woman reading the names off the clipboard, his messy blond curls sticking out in every direction.

"Tyler Walker from Amity, Griffon Brown from Dauntless and Eleanor Johnson from Candor, please," says the woman in a pleasant but directive manner.

I look down at Poppy as I walk pass, who has apparently completed her test, and notice she wears a small smile, unlike most of the teenagers who have already gone through the test. I guess she got the faction she was hoping for.

The two boys have already filed into their testing rooms before I have even left my table. I jog awkwardly towards the last opened door; a beautiful Abnegation woman stands in the doorway, holding the mirrored door open politely for me.

"Thank you," I mutter as I walk into the strange room. Every wall is covered with mirrors. I look up to the ceiling, and notice it is mirrored to. There are no windows, and the door blends into the walls, except for the door handle.

"You're welcome. Please, take a seat," the lady says, her dark hair tied to the back of her head in a knot. She keeps her eyes down as she heads towards a computer in one corner of the room, probably as not to catch a look at her reflection, something Abnegation does not allow.

I anxiously plop myself down on what looks like a dentist chair.

"What're you going to do? Brush my teeth?" I ask, hoping a joke will relieve some of my nervous energy. I almost smack a hand to my forehead. She's a Stiff.

But to my surprise, she laughs softly, which eases my nerves a bit. "Oh, no. My name is Natalie. I will be administering your aptitude test today."

"Hello… I'm Eleanor. You're Andrew Prior's wife, aren't you? He's on the council, right?" I can't help myself. I was born a Candor and the Candor like to ask questions.

"Why yes, I am. And I know who you are," she turns to me, crinkles similar to my mother's around her dark green eyes. She begins to stick electrodes to my forehead, and I stare up at them tentatively, causing my forehead to wrinkle.

I gulp, too nervous to ask why she's attaching some to herself too.

"Here," says Natalie, handing me a small plastic cup filled with a foul smelling liquid. I don't dare look into the cup. "Drink it. The simulation will begin once you have finished drinking."

_In through my nose._

_Out through my mouth._

My breaths hitch before I tip the cup up and pour the contents down my throat, barely tasting the bitterness.

Natalie takes the cup from my hand gingerly and sets it on the table next to the computer.

_In through my nose._

_Out through my mouth._

The mirrors slowly disappear, and a brief darkness replaces it, like I've fallen asleep or something.

But no, when I look down, I am standing in the school cafeteria again. It is empty. For a second, I am confused, thinking that I had taken so long on my test that everyone had already gone home. Just when I'm about to head for the doorway, a distinct voice commands, "Choose."

Two baskets appear on the floor by my feet; one contains a block of cheddar cheese, the other a long knife, about the length of my forearm.

"Wh-what for?" I ask quietly, not really expecting an answer.

"Choose," the voice says again, more urgent.

A lump forms in my throat and I snatch up the knife without a second thought. If there is even a knife as an option, it will probably be a dangerous situation.

The doors open and I snap my head towards the sound, my right hand clutching the knife.

A dog I recognize as a Doberman Pinscher stands with its muscles taut and teeth bared.

Some logical voice in the back of my head tells me that I should probably be terrified of this vicious looking dog. But… I'm not. I have a Border Collie at home, and I've grown up with pets all my life. Even scary looking, ruthless animals have a sweet side. It's the usually the same with people too. I've always preferred animals to humans anyway though. They can't spread rumors about you, or make fun of your wishes, or tell on you when you break your mom's favorite vase and nobody else is around to see it.

I won't kill this dog. I'll only use this knife as my last resort.

I take a tentative step towards it, wondering how it will react. Snarling, the dog bends over, like it's getting prepared to pounce. On _me._

"Hey puppy!" I say in voice that I would only be caught speaking in if you were a) A baby or b) A cute fuzzy animal. "How are you, baby boy? You want a treat?"

I obviously don't have a dog treat, but I have to calm it down somehow. Maybe bribery is this imaginary dog's thing.

Apparently not.

The Doberman launches itself at me and I shriek, barely stepping out of its reach. I turn and run towards the nearest lunch table, careful not to fall over in my heeled boots. The dog swiftly leaps up onto the table next to me, growling frighteningly.

"Nice, doggy," I say hesitantly, holding out my hand for it to sniff, like I used to do when I ran up to a random dog on the street to show them I meant well. I hide the knife in my other hand behind my back.

The dog's hot breath warms my hand briefly before he pulls back, wagging his tail slightly. I run my hand over his smooth black and brown fur, and his tongue lolls, dripping drool.

"Good dog-"I begin, when I hear the shrill voice of a little girl. I shift my gaze to a toddler in a lacy white dress, her blond hair in pigtails as she claps her hands, calling the dog over to her.

The dog gallops towards the little child at an alarming rate, snapping at her outstretched hands.

"No!" I scream, aiming my knife at the dog. It lodges itself in the back of his neck and it collapses to the ground.

I start hurrying towards the girl, but she fades away, as well as the rest of the cafeteria.

Suddenly, I am sitting in the auditorium of my school, in between Poppy and Isabel. The crowd is dead silent, which I find sort of odd because I am sitting next to the queen of chatter.

Jack Kang, Candor's representative, stands under a spotlight in the center of the stage. Jack speaks into a microphone, his face turning a deep shade of red. He is obviously furious about something.

"Eleanor Johnson, please step down to the stage," he says, clearly fuming.

My heart nearly stops. Why me? What could he possibly want me down there for?

Poppy nudges me in the arm with her elbow. "Go!" she whispers.

"You'll get in trouble if you don't," Isabel hisses.

"Ellie, that's you!" says a low voice from behind me.

"Ooh, someone's in trouble!"

"You're gonna be in some _deep _shit, Eleanor."

"Shut it, will you?" I snap in a hushed tone. "I'm going."

I push myself from my chair using the arm rests and carefully make my way down the row, dodging legs and ignoring jeers. By the time I reach the stage, my heart is thumping so hard it feels like someone is pounding my chest with a hammer.

Then I am staring at my reflection, Natalie slowly removing the electrodes from my forehead.

"Is it over?" I ask, my voice hoarse.

"Yes, Eleanor. I will be… right back." I can tell she's holding back something, the way she hesitated and keeps biting the inside of her cheek. She marches out of the room, her lips pursed together.

Swinging my legs over the side of the reclining chair, I sit up. I have no idea what faction I have aptitude for now. Before the test, I had always thought I was an indefinitely a Candor; now I'm not so sure.

I train my eyes on a spot on the floor until Natalie Prior renters the testing room.

"Well, how did I do?" I prompt.

"You did fine. Well, actually you did better than fine," mumbles the woman, wringing her hands nervously. Why does she look so worried if I did well?

"Okay… what's wrong then?"

"What's wrong is that you're Divergent," she rushes her words so I almost don't catch the end of her sentence.

My mouth hangs open in surprise and awe, and I can't seem to close it. I can almost hear my dad saying _"Close your mouth; you'll catch flies."_

"Divergent…? You mean like, in fairytales and stuff?" I remember a boy named Chris back in grade three telling us all about divergence. He said they were people sort of like super heroes, people who had aptitude for more than one faction, and had special powers. I never believed him until now.

"Um, not exactly. This is no fairytale, Miss Johnson. This is serious."

I don't get it. How can belonging in more than one place be bad? She makes it sound like a death sentence.

"You can't ever tell _anyone _about this, you understand? Not your parents, your friends, your siblings. No one. Even if somebody asks you straight up 'Are you divergent?' you say 'No', okay?" she continues.

"Okay. But why is this so dangerous?" This makes no sense whatsoever to me.

"People will kill you for it, depending on which faction you choose. You have aptitude for Candor and Dauntless."

Whenever people said their heart skipped a beat, I always thought it was just a figure of speech. Not anymore.

"Your instant attraction to the knife would imply Dauntless, but your hesitation to use it on the dog and use a more humane way gives a sort of an Erudite vibe. Then, in the second part of the simulation, you got right up on stage when you were asked, which shows strong Candor connections. I was able to knock out Erudite with some simple calculations, but it's still sort of an option, I suppose." She informs me, barely pausing to take a breath.

"Well… what do I choose then?"

"That is completely your decision. I'm afraid I cannot help you there, Eleanor. I recorded your results as Candor, but remember what I told you, alright?"

"Yes, Mrs. Prior, I understand."

I shakily rise to my feet, straightening out my crisp blazer as I reach for the door handle. But before I leave, I look over my shoulder at Natalie. "You know, if Abnegation were allowed to wear their hair down, you'd be really pretty."

I leave the blushing, humble woman alone in the room and head back to my lunch table.


	3. Always Follow Your Heart

CHAPTER THREE

_12: 18pm_

I ignore everyone for the remainder of the school day, even my teachers. When I sat back down at the table that I share with Isabel, Poppy, and a few other Candor boys and girls, I am rattled with questions. We are technically not supposed to talk about our aptitude results, even after we have made our decision, but Candor can get around any rule.

My friends ask questions with double meanings, hoping that I'll tell them how the test went, but I don't.

By now I usually would've just ditched them to escape the nagging, but I'm in too much of a daze to think about anything but the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow. I've attended them with my parents every year since I was a baby, and they've always been long, boring gatherings that seem to drag on forever.

I have dreaded them since I was little, and now that it's my turn to slice my hand with a knife and decide on my faction, I say I'm dreading it about 1000x more than I ever have before.

_2:31pm_Exactly a minute after the final bell rings, Poppy, Isabel and I are standing on the last step of the school, ready to head home. At the last second, I crane my neck around to get a good look at the school I have attended since I was four.

"You coming, Ellie?" Poppy asks, her expression concerned.

"Oh…no thanks. I think I'm going to take the long way home. I have a lot of thinking to do," I tell her cautiously.

"Well, okay… but if you need-"

"Bye, Eleanor! See you tomorrow at the Choosing Ceremony!" cuts in Isabel irritably.

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Bye, guys."

Poppy and Miss Sunshine's tittering thins out by the time I reach the end of the street, nearing the Factionless sector. My thoughts drift away from _my _choice, to my siblings' choices.

My eldest sibling is Ethan, who is really my half brother. When he was born, my father was married to another Candor woman, but they got divorced when Ethan was only seven. He celebrated his 34th birthday last June, though he chose Amity nearly eighteen years ago. My father met my mother a couple years later, and they fell in love and got married.

I've never met my grandparents, though all of them are Candor. My father's parents did not approve of my mother, Margaret, because her family was poor and she had dropped out of high school when she was fifteen. My mother's parents did not approve of my father, Timothy, either, because his parents were known for being cruel and snobby. As you can see, family reunions would not be very cheerful.

I've only met Ethan three times. He transferred long before I was born, so I never even lived with him. On Visiting Days, I sometimes go to see him, but since I have two other siblings to see, I rarely have time to visit all of them.

Jennifer is the second oldest, a known rebellion and exaggerator (she exaggerates like a million times a day). She also transferred before I was born, but to Dauntless. I often contemplate how two siblings can end up in such different places; Dauntless and Amity.

I turn down a long, dank smelling alleyway, spotting my house at the end of it.

There is also twenty-five year old Noah, who may have been born a Candor, but has always definitely been an Erudite at heart. He graduated first in his initiation class, which is incredible by Erudite standards, considering first place is determined by who has the highest IQ. I only have fading memories of him, since he transferred when I was nine.

And then there's Aiden. We always fought like cats and dogs (or brothers and sisters, I guess you could say), but I love him to bits. I am not allowed to visit him on visiting days, because he does not have a faction. He's Factionless. He transferred to Dauntless, only a few years ago, but he failed initiation. The last time we saw him was on Visiting Day during his second week of initiation. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that he failed though. He was head of the class when we visited him last, so how could things turn so horrible in only a couple of days? I try not to think about it though, because even though he's four years older than me, he was the only sibling I grew up with.

I realize I have made it to my driveway, and I cock my head up at our cozy bungalow that has been my home for about three years. We used to live in a much bigger house, but we decided once Aiden left that it was only sensible to purchase a smaller home.

Since the truth is viewed as black and white, those are the colors we must wear. Our houses must wear it too. The shingles to our humble abode are black tar, while the rest of the house is white, except for the front door, shutters, mail box, and garage door.

"Hey! Hey Eleanor!" The high pitched voice of who could only be Paul, Poppy's ten year brother, calls from down the street.

I turn around and spot the annoying little twerp as he puts up the kickstand on his beat-up red bicycle and leaves it leaning precariously to one side on my front lawn.

"I broke my chain! You think you could fix it?" he shouts up to me. I shrug and trot down the crumbling cement stairs towards him.

"I don't know. What did you do to it?"

"Well, I was riding off Tex's ramp and accidentally landed it in the bushes. I'd ask my dad to fix it, but I don't want to tell him I was at Tex's house." He scratches the back of his tanned neck.

"Why not?" I squat next to the bike, sliding my backpack off into the grass.

"Because his older sister transferred to Abnegation last year, and dad says we shouldn't associate ourselves with Stiffs. Stupid, if you ask me." He shrugs and frowns.

I shake my head, not hiding my disgust.

_ People should keep there twisted opinions and biases to themselves instead of infecting their kids with these stereotypical thoughts,_ I think.

But all I say is, "Yeah, real stupid." I carefully place the rusted chain back in place. "See? Wasn't that hard. Here's your bike." I swing my foot lift up the kickstand and wheel the bicycle over to where Paul stands on the sidewalk.

"Thanks so much, Ellie! See you at the Choosing Ceremony tomorrow!" he exclaims, mounting his bike with a grin planted on his face.

_Oh yeah. Almost forgot._

_2:50pm_

"Hello? Ellie?" My mother calls from her spot on the faded black couch as I shut the front door behind me.

"It's me, Mom. I'm home!"

"Oh, Eleanor! What took you so long? I was starting to get worried." Well that's no surprise; I could be home five minutes _early_, and she'd still think I took an eternity.

"I just wanted to take the long way home," I answer, half telling the truth. I've learned there are a lot of ways of avoiding the truth. I'm not dishonest, but I don't always tell the entire truth.

I set my backpack down on the floor as I join my mom on the couch. "Can I talk to you about something?"

Her smile fades, and suddenly she looks years wiser. Her wrinkles and graying hair seem to stand out much more than they did just moments before. "It's about your aptitude results, isn't it?"

"Well… sort of."

She glances around the room, as if she expects someone to pop out from behind the furniture.

"What were your results?" she asks nervously.

"I… I can't say. You know that," I whisper, my eyes focused on a piece of dog hair on my mom's blouse, rather than her face.

"I know, I know. Then what did you want to talk about?" She wraps her chubby arms around me.

"How do you know? I mean, how do you know if you're making the right choice or not?"

My mother frowns, deep in thought for a second. "Hmm. I'm not really sure that there _is _a way to know if you're making the right decision."

I sigh impatiently. "Then how did _you_ choose?"

"I chose Candor for all the wrong reasons, sweetheart. I stayed here because it was the only place I'd ever known, not really because I wanted to. That is one of my greatest regrets."

My eyes widen. My honest mother, my candid mother, my Candor through-and-through mother, _regrets_ staying here?

"I wanted an adventure," she carries on. "But I was too cowardly to follow through. The best advice I can give, Eleanor, is that you should follow your heart. Always go with your first instinct. That may sound cheesy, but I'm serious." She kisses my forehead lightly. "I will love you no matter what your choice is, alright?"

How could she speak so selflessly? If I were her, I would have told me to stay in Candor so I would never have to do without her. A lump the size of a fist forms in my throat so it's hard to swallow.

"I love you too," I reply, my voice cracking.

How could I leave my caring and charming mother behind? And what about Poppy, my perky best friend, who is always stuffing food in her mouth?

I can't.

_I won't._


	4. I Will Not Make the Same Mistake

CHAPTER FOUR

_Mid-Afternoon of Choosing Day_

"Will you stop squeezing my arm like you're in the middle of the ocean and I'm the life preserver?" Poppy exclaims as we step into the elevator of the Hub.

I loosen my death grip on her arm a bit and cringe. "Sorry."

"Are you really _that _nervous?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Um, let me think. _Yes! _Aren't you? You're about to make the _biggest _decision of your life." I make sure to emphasize the last part.

Poppy makes a face like she just drank sour milk. "Well, now I am!"

I laugh, but it sounds foreign. My throat goes dry, like it always does before I throw up and bile starts to creep its way up my throat. I clutch my stomach, groaning.

The elevator _dings_ as we reach the level that holds the Choosing Ceremony each year. Poppy drapes her bony arm across my shoulders, keeping me steady as we're pushed and shoved in a sea of red, yellow, black, white and blue. I swallow the bile, because I really don't feel like throwing up on the Amity boy in front of me.

My mom is lost in the crowd, somewhere a few feet ahead, but I keep losing sight of her.

The Choosing Ceremony space was built in rings in a circular room. The last ring in the center holds the five glass bowls, each holding a substance that represents a faction; smooth grey stones for Abnegation, rippling water for Erudite, moist soil for Amity, sizzling coals for Dauntless and shards of glass for Candor.

I hear an awed gasp escape me, and my cheeks light up like the Dauntless coals. I sound like a fat kid in a candy store rather than someone who is about to cut themselves in front of almost the whole city.

"I thought you came here every year...?" Poppy says, taking notice of my awe.

I don't answer though. I'm pretty sure someone glued my tongue to my mouth, because I can't even speak, I'm so apprehensive.

_3:00pm_

"Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining us today, for this is a very important occasion," Johanna Reyes, Amity representative, stands in the center of the crowd, addressing us into a microphone.

Every year, the factions rotate on who will host the ceremony, and this year it is Amity's turn, just like next year it will be Abnegation's.

"As you know," Johanna continues. The long thin scar running down her tanned face seems to glow in the fluorescent lighting of the building. "We have gathered here today because the sixteen year olds of our wonderful city will be deciding on which faction they will make home of for the rest of their lives."

I stand in a crowd composed of hundreds of other anxious teenagers, squeezed together like a mouse in a trap. I'm squished between Poppy and an Erudite boy, the same one who I spotted yesterday before my Aptitude Test.

Johanna's voice drones on about how the factions were created and why. My toes tap lightly on the floor as I try to keep my feet from cramping.

"Those who blamed selfishness for the world's evil founded Abnegation."

I do believe that selfishness is to blame, but I am not Abnegation material. I would rather not live the rest of my life carrying old ladies' groceries and wearing the same drab outfit every single day, which just further proves that I am selfish, and a hypocrite.

"Those who blamed ignorance created Erudite."

I almost had aptitude for _three _factions. Erudite was the third one that Natalie ruled out. I shake my head without even realizing. No, I'm not like Noah. I'm not smart enough to make it in Erudite.

"Those who blamed violence formed Amity." I notice she smiles extra wide when she says this bit.

I would love to live in Amity. Honestly. The peaceful orchards, being close to nature, working on a farm for the rest of my days? I could see myself living a happy life there. But when I think of how many fights I get into at school and how rude and sarcastic I am sometimes, I know Amity is also out of the question.

"Those who blamed cowardice created Dauntless." This statement causes the sea of black clothed, pierced, tattooed Dauntless to cheer and pump their fists in the air.

How the hell could I have aptitude for _that? _Their appearances are rough and frightening, so unlike any other faction. Maybe a part of me admires that they're different, that they don't care what anyone else thinks of them. Maybe it would be exhilarating to jump off of trains and be able to shoot a gun and guard the city from the unknown dangers outside the fence.

Too bad I've already made my decision.

"And those who blamed duplicity and deception formed Candor."

I stand up a little straighter, proud. This will be my faction. I will stay here to protect my mother, to serve my duties as a true Candor.

Johanna clears her throat and begins to read the names of the soon-to-be-initiates in alphabetical order.

"Isabel Adams, from Candor."

Isabel is the first to choose. She trots daintily up to Johanna Reyes in her white and black polka-dot dress and takes the knife from her open hand. Wincing, she drags the blade over her outstretched palm. Blood blossoms and she smiles nervously before sticking her hand over the bowl filled to the brim with dirt; Amity.

_I saw that coming. _I think with a faint snort.

I hear Poppy release a scandalized gasp, her eyes almost popping out of her head.

"Sara Allen, from Erudite."

I see the flash of a blue skirt over the Amity boy in front of me's shoulder before the girl sticks her bleeding hand out over the bowl filled with water. She's staying loyal to her faction, just like I am.

Name by name, transfer by transfer, Johanna finally reaches the _J's._

"Eleanor Johnson, from Candor."

I am already halfway through the crowd, elbowing people out of the way. Only the Abnegation move without prompting.

_Jeez, _I think as I shove an Erudite out of the way. _Just because you're not all Stiffs doesn't mean you're forbidden to act polite._

As I reach the edges of the crowd, I run my hands along the hem of my black and white striped dress. I really wish I hadn't worn a cardigan over it. I'll be as sweaty as a Dauntless in church by the time this is finished.

The crowd is completely silent, though there are at least a thousand people gathered here.

Johanna hands me my knife and I grip it tightly, like the rope in Phys Ed. class. This is almost exactly like the aptitude test simulation. My heart begins to thump again, but this time twice as hard.

I skim my eyes over all five bowls and gulp as I run the sharp point across my hand. I bite my lip; my hand stings as if a bee had just stung it ten times over.

I smear the blood by clenching my shaking hand, leaving it hovering above the Candor bowl.

I thrust my fist a little to the left and unclench it, letting a sigh be released.

I am not Candor, because I cannot even be honest with myself.

_I chose Candor for all the wrong reasons. _My mother's voice plays back in my head like a stereo on repeat.

Well, I am not making the same mistake.

I hear a sizzling sound, the same one a fire makes when it is being quenched with water.

_Faction before blood._


	5. Welcome to Dauntless

CHAPTER FIVE

_3:31pm_

_I love you._

That's what my mother mouths to me the moment I catch her eye, which isn't exactly easy to do considering a boy with a green Mohawk stands in my way, blocking my view.

_I love you too. _I mouth back, my eyes overflowing with tears. Some parents act immature on Choosing Day, screaming out with indignation when their child transfers to a new faction. Not my mother though. She sniffs, wiping tears from her scarred and wrinkled cheeks before giving me a watery smile and blowing her nose into a tissue. I did this to her. _How could I?_

My head snaps back into attention when I hear Johanna's clear as water voice announce, "Poppy Portoff."

My eyes widen as she steps forward, nervously clutching the knife handle.

Silence.

Then a distinct sizzle.

_4:00pm_

I refuse to look Poppy in the eye as she joins me in the group of Dauntless born initiates. There is a break in the black in some places; a flash of white pants, a bright yellow shirt, a speck of blue.

"That concludes this year's Choosing Ceremony. Thank you everyone," I'm surprised by how well Johanna's voice carries out over the now restless crowd.

Poppy squeezes my arm, and when I finally meet her gaze, she is grinning.

I raise an eyebrow. "_You _had aptitude for Dauntless?"

"Well… yes!" she squeaks like a hyperactive puppy, her eyes snapping with excitement.

I suddenly get the feeling of a salmon trying to swim upriver as the Dauntless surge towards the staircase.

"Watch it!" snaps a familiar boy as he elbows me in the ribcage. I wrinkle up my nose at him. _Him. _The Erudite boy I saw wearing the plaid shirt yesterday.

"Sorry," I hiss. "Don't wanna break your glasses or anything."

He glares at me, but only for a couple of seconds before a blond Dauntless girl shoves him out of her way.

"Pansycake," she mutters under her breath. What's _that _supposed to mean?

I stick my tongue out at him, which probably isn't the most mature thing to do, but I'm caught in the heat of the moment.

The staircase of the Hub is filled with shouts and cheers as the Dauntless flood down the stairs and onto the streets outside of the building.

A rush of cool air smacks me in the face as we step outside, the hair on my bare legs standing straight on end.

"Come on!" I shout to Poppy, grasping her hand and pulling her towards the train tracks, where the rest of the Dauntless are heading.

I hear the blaring of the train horn which just adds to the chaos. I feel the vibration through the soles of my ballet flats and gulp. How am I going to jump onto a moving train in _these_ shoes?

One by one, the Dauntless start disappearing into the train cars, launching themselves in swiftly like a tiger pouncing on its prey.

The only initiates left are me, Poppy, an Erudite boy and girl, an Amity boy and four other Candor. Many Candor transfer to Dauntless every year, though, because honesty and bravery are often thought of as connecting; you can't really have one without the other.

Two Candor girls I have never really spoken to pull themselves up, shrieking when they stumble onto the floor of the car. I sprint ahead of the group of transfers and clutch onto the door handle. Without even looking at me, the Amity and Erudite boys jump into the car almost effortlessly.

I scream as my grip on the door handle loosens. I swing my long, willowy legs in the air, trying to get enough momentum to land safely in the car, but the force of the wind is too much for me to handle. I screw my eyes shut and clench my teeth, prepared to let go, but strong, delicate hands wrap around my forearms and yank me inside the train car.

I skid across the floor with a thud, and slowly push myself into a sitting position to search for the person that pulled me into the car, probably saving my life.

Hunched over by the doorway, pulling Poppy in, is the rude Erudite, dressed in lame khaki pants and a sky blue button up shirt.

I shake my head slightly. "Who are you?" I find myself asking as Poppy scoots backwards away from the entrance.

The boy with the tousled curls and grey eyes winks at me from behind his thick framed glasses.

"Arthur."

Without another word, he turns to help another Candor into the train.

_5:14pm_

"This is where we jump!" shouts a Dauntless girl that I can't see.

_"Here?" _asks the suddenly pale Erudite girl, her glasses perched precariously at the end of her tiny nose.

"I... I guess so..." I let my voice trail off.

I back up to the far end of the train car, getting ready to run and jump onto the roof ledge. I'm not exactly sure what this building is used for, besides scaring the shit out of initiates moments after they've chosen.

I feel a pang in my heart. I never got to say goodbye to my mother because choosing Dauntless was a completely spur of the moment thing.

I gulp, but the bulge in my throat refuses to go down. It hits me just now that Dauntless initiation will not be easy; this moment right now could mean life or death.

Without another second's hesitation, I run steadily across the car, leaving people to dive out of the way. I bend my knees at the last second and use the edge of the car to push myself farther up into the air. My fingers grip the roof's ledge and I swing myself up, skinning my bare knees. I made it.

I examine my knees briefly, noticing blood is trailing down my legs, but I'm in too much shock to even care.

_"Eleanor!"_ a weak voice yells from behind me. I see the thin fingertips of Poppy as she uses every ounce of strength in her to hold on to the edge.

"Oh my God!" I shout, rushing towards the edge. "Poppy!"

Everything seems to slow for a few split seconds, my steps faltering.

I see Poppy's brittle fingers turning purple from hanging on so tight for so long, her piercing cry rippling through the air. I blink, and when I open my eyes again, her hands are absent from the ledge.

She's gone.

A yelp similar to the one that my dog makes when I step on his foot escapes me.

I collapse onto the ground, my face buried in my shaking hands.

"Welcome to Dauntless." says a gruff voice.


	6. Old Habits Die Hard

CHAPTER SIX

_5:28pm_

I've never cried in front of anyone except my parents before, so sobbing uncontrollably into my hands within my first ten minutes in Dauntless probably isn't very impressive.

I don't care though. _I don't care, I don't care, I don't care._

Morbid thoughts begin to creep into my mind. Will Poppy's broken body just lie there on the pavement until it decomposes into a skeleton? Will another train run over her?

A soothing hand runs down my chilled arm, causing me to shiver. I suck in a shaky breath and meet the eyes of the Erudite girl with jet black cropped hair.

Her eyes are not cold and critical like most Erudite's are. They're wide, sympathetic and innocent.

"I'm so sorry…" she whispers, helping me to my feet.

Before I can reply, the same voice that I heard welcome me, barks, "You about done, ladies?"

I scowl at the older Dauntless man who stands with his arms crossed by the edge of the roof. A vicious voice at the back of my head wants me to shove him off the side, though I can't quite tell why.

"Yes," squeaks the girl, pushing her glasses back with her pinky finger.

"Good," the man horks up a loogie and spits it off the roof and down onto the ground, close to where Poppy's body lies. It takes everything in me not to cry out.

"I'm one of the Dauntless leaders," he announces with a smirk. "My name is Max."

I already hate this guy. He acts like he's immune to death, and seems to expect that we should be too.

"This is the first task of initiation which, might I add, is not an easy process. There will be three stages; physical, emotional and mental."

I gulp. Candor initiation sounds like a piece of cake compared to this. _Emotional stage? _What are they going to do, torture us to see how we react?

"How are we going to get down?" I hear the short Erudite ask, her eyes skipping around the edges of the roof for a ladder or staircase. I shrug, hot tears seeming to sear through my cheeks.

"_That, _smarty pants, is a very good question. And a relevant one, too." He gestures to the far side of the peeling roof. "You are all going to jump."

"_What?" _cries out one of the Candor girls, who I think is named Clarity. She was in my Pre-Algebra class.

Max just shrugs with a sneer. I'm starting to think these nasty expressions are common in my newly chosen faction.

A few Dauntless boys snort and shove each other towards the edge. I'm not exactly scared of jumping because there is probably so kind of giant mat or something down at the bottom of the pit, but I don't want to attract attention to myself by going first. Besides, by the way Max reacted to Poppy's death, like it was no big deal, makes me think twice. I choke back another sob.

_5:36pm_

_Arthur looks pretty cocky for a nerd dressed in glasses, a dress shirt and the same shoes that little kids wear,_ I think as he swaggers towards the edge.

He turns his back to the edge, crosses his arms across his chest dramatically and falls back effortlessly, not even flinching. I hear cheering come from below, so I know he's alright. I let out a sigh of relief that I didn't even realize I was holding in.

A few Dauntless launch themselves over the edge, barely waiting for the person ahead of them to land safely before they take off.

I sniff and wipe a tear away with the back of my hand as I step towards the edge.

I position myself in a squat, hands clutching my dress tightly so it doesn't fly up as I fall.

_Ready? _I screw my eyes shut. _Go._

I feel weightless, like a feather floating down from a bird.

"_Oomph!" _ I land hard on my side at the bottom of a pit in a net.

I take a few seconds to catch my breath before I roll off the side of the net and onto a wooden floor.

A Dauntless girl with multiple eyebrow and ear piercings stands above me, offering out her hand. I clasp it carefully and let her pull me to my feet.

"You okay?" she asks with a grin. "I'm Lauren, by the way."

"Yeah, I'm good, thanks. I'm Eleanor." I offer her my hand to shake, remembering that just a day before I was answering questions about the different faction customs; now I'm practicing them in real life.

Lauren grins even wider, brushing her dark hair away from her brown eyes as she shakes my hand twice.

"Amar?" Lauren inquires, her eyes searching the room.

"Yeah?" I hear a low voice answer, a man, basically a shadow as he emerges from a dark tunnel. As he materializes I realize he is dark skinned, broad shouldered and tall.

"Our fifth jumper, a Candor," states Lauren as Amar quickly scribbles information down onto a clipboard.

"Ellie," I pipe up.

"Okay," mumbles Amar, finally looking up at me with deep brown eyes, so dark they're almost black. "Welcome, Ellie. I'm Amar, your instructor. Lauren here will be instructing the Dauntless born initiates."

"Hello," I answer, biting my lip. Why do the Dauntless have to train separately from us?

From behind me I hear a groan as the Erudite girl steps off the net precariously and stumbles into a young man's arms. His hair is such a dark brown it's almost black, and even though I only catch a glimpse of them in the dim lighting, I can tell his eyes are a brilliant, deep blue.

"That's Four, in case you're wondering," says Lauren. "He's going to be helping me train the Dauntless born initiates."

"Four?" I blurt out. I want to smack myself for being such a Candor, but I remind myself that I am still technically half Candor. "What kind of a name is that?"

Lauren shrugs. "That's not his real name, but nobody knows what it actually is."

"Why 'Four' though?"

"Oh, shut up. Curiosity killed the cat, you know."

"Sorry," I make an exaggerated shrug. "Old habits die hard."

I hear a harsh voice from behind me. "Better hope they die _fast."_

I spin around on my heel to face a short Dauntless with greasy black hair and about a dozen piercings on his eyebrow alone.

"Eric," says the boy. He doesn't offer me his hand to shake.


	7. A Wave of Doubt

**So I finally finished re-editing Undaunted! I didn't make any major changes to most of the chapters, but I think it would be to your benefit to go back and reread the first few chapters, where I changed a lot about Eleanor's parents. Chapter Eight will hopefully be up by Monday, and I really appreciate everyone being so patient. :)**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN

_5:42pm_

Everything about this boy is menacing, from his greasy black hair to his calculating and cold stare.

"Leave her alone, Eric," says Amar, warning edging his voice.

Eric glares hard at the young man as Amar materializes by my side. "What? I didn't say anything."

"Yet," mutters Amar, staring back at him with obvious distaste. I feel myself shrink back, not wanting to get caught up between the two.

But to my surprise, Eric rolls his eyes and turns away, walking towards the net. "Whatever."

"Who _was_ that?" I raise an eyebrow quizzically at Amar.

"Lauren, Four and Eric were all in the same initiate class last year," the exhausted looking man answers as he cracks his knuckles.

"Yeah," Lauren nods. "But Eric was always really peculiar. He never really had any friends during initiation. Or now, for that matter."

Amar narrows his eyes at Eric's shadowy figure. He now stands on the other side of the gloomy pit, talking to the boy Lauren called Four.

"Enough talking about him though," Amar says quietly. He raises his voice so that everyone else in the room can hear him. "Listen up everybody!" The excited chatter in the room quickly peters out.

"Welcome to Dauntless. I am Amar, the transfer-initiates' instructor," he states. Amar is greeted with the eight blank stares of the transfers.

"I'm Lauren," the seventeen year old fiddles with an eyebrow piercing. "Me and Four will be instructing the Dauntless born initiates." Lauren jerks her thumb towards the dark haired boy, who still has not spoken.

"Wouldn't it be 'Four and I'?" Arthur calls out with a cocky grin.

Four narrows his eyes. "Would you like to take a train back to Erudite? We don't have much tolerance for smartasses like you here in Dauntless." His voice is surprisingly low and threatening.

Arthur's good natured expression doesn't falter. He throws up his hands in surrender and laughs. "Sorry Mr. Four."

Four rolls his ocean blue eyes, but I can tell he's attempting to suppress a smile. Another perk about being from Candor; I can almost always tell how people are really feeling just by their expressions, their tone of voice and their body movements.

"Shall we get started?" Amar doesn't wait for an answer, just starts heading down a seemingly endless tunnel.

"C'mon," Four gestures to the apprehensive looking Dauntless born initiates. "We're going to skip the tour of the compound." He and Lauren lead the group of about thirteen boys and girls away in quite a disorderly fashion. Only eight of us remain; four girls and four boys.

Amar guides us down the ominous hallway, passing door after door.

"Max probably already gave you a general idea of how initiation works," Amar says without turning to face us. "But it has changed greatly over the past couple of years. Just last year, for example, we started with the fear landscapes as Stage One, but more about that later." He pauses to lean into a large set of double doors, pushing them open. "This is the Pit. The Pit, initiates. Initiates, the Pit." A few nervous snickers rise before we enter one of the busiest rooms I have ever been in.

Amar stops abruptly for a Dauntless girl in a black dress as she scurries by in a giggle fit, a young boy that can't be older than five chasing after her with his arms outstretched.

Blue lanterns cast an eerie glow over the otherwise dim underground cavern, filled with entrances to what look like stores. In Candor, everyone always seems to be in a hurry. Not here. Yes, there are some people bustling by, but there are also large groups of people laughing, talking and drinking. A frowned upon practice back in Candor was cigarettes; here it seems to be alcohol. Though I guess it isn't exactly 'frowned upon.'

Before letting us take everything in, Amar's voice rises above the noise. "Now to the Chasm."

I hear a faint roar that becomes more insistent as we near a brass railing with miniscule water droplets sprinkled all over it.

I feel a sturdy hand touch my back as I lean over the railing to get a look at what is causing the wild noise. I whip my head around and come face to face with a brown haired boy that I sometimes sat with at lunch; Charlie.

He pulls his hand back quickly and hugs it to his chest, grinning apologetically. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you. Eleanor, right?" I nod and turn back towards the underground river, hoping he will take it as a hint that I don't feel like talking. But he doesn't.

"There are a lot of initiates from Candor, huh? You, me, Clarity, Kate and Xavier," his voice wavers. "Oh God, I'm so sorry about Poppy. I remember she had a crush on me when we were little…"

_Don't worry; she had a crush on everyone. _I bite my lip in an attempt not to blurt out my rude response.

Luckily, Amar cups his hands around his mouth and shouts, interrupting our awkward one-sided conversation. "Dinnertime!"

We follow him towards another bustling area which I assume is the Dining Hall.

Laughter erupts from the far corner of the room, Dauntless men slamming their fists against worn tables. We pass by an empty table with water rings permanently etched onto the surface. _Or,_ I think as my nose wrinkles up in disgust, _beer rings. _That answer is probably more likely considering how strong the smell of stale alcohol is in here.

I tag along at the edge of the group of initiates and as we scoot onto a long bench, a thunderous applause echoes against the wall of the underground dining hall.

"What are they applauding us for?" I find myself in between the little Erudite girl and the obnoxious Arthur.

I shrug and lean in towards the girl so I have a chance of being heard over the roar. "What's your name?"

"Mercy."

My eyebrows automatically rise up to my hairline in surprise. You usually don't hear such a unique name in Erudite; they prefer plain, old fashioned ones. It actually sounds more like a Dauntless name…

"What?" Mercy looks up at me with wide grey eyes.

"Oh, nothing. I'm Eleanor, by the way. You can call me Ellie."

She sticks out her hand, offering a shake. I grab it quickly and shake twice. I don't think that will ever get easier.

"And I'm _Arthur Bennett. _Pleased to make your acquaintance, my dear Ellie," Arthur says with a false accent leaning into me with an arrogant grin.

I roll my eyes: Mercy scoffs. "Oh, Arthur shut up, will you?"

Arthur bursts out laughing and turns back to another Candor I rarely talked to named Xavier, an elevated, muscular boy with slanted black eyes and dark spiky hair.

"Don't worry about him. He's been a class clown since before I can remember," Mercy smiles before quietly adding, "I'm pretty sure everyone in Erudite let out a sigh of relief when he transferred from their faction."

I snort, a smile spreading across my face. I see the flash of blue eyes and short brown hair out of the corner of my eye, and for a split second I think its Poppy. But no, it's just a Dauntless teenager walking by on her way to a table. I hunch over in my seat.

A wave of doubt floods over me all at once. Aiden was at the head of his initiation class. He was strong and fast and built for Dauntless, and he _still_ didn't make it here. How the hell will I?


	8. Nice To Meet You

CHAPTER EIGHT

_7:07pm_

Dinner was quiet and uneventful for the most part, at least from where I was sitting. Mercy didn't utter another word for the entire meal, Arthur had his back to me the whole time while he, Xavier, Charlie and the dark skinned Amity boy laughed and joked, and I just sat still and quietly chewed my burnt steak.

Seconds after I clear my plate, I see Amar out of the corner of my eye walking towards the center of the room, Four and Lauren talking quietly to each other as they follow.

"Alright, everyone," Amar folds his arms across his chest, as if implying that what he is about to say is going to be important. "I want all of the transfers with me, and the Dauntless borns with Lauren and Four. We're going to be showing you the dorms."

A wave of hushed mutters washes briefly over our table as we slowly begin to rise from our seats, stretching our arms over our heads to wake up our tired muscles.

"Are we all staying in one room?" Clarity asks another Candor I don't recognize.

"Obviously not or the transfers and the Dauntless born initiates wouldn't be going separate ways," she answers, rolling her intense green eyes.

"Well, I mean like, the girls and the boys?"

They both go silent and I turn away, trotting over to the three instructors.

"Hey, Four," Lauren nudges the handsome boy with her elbow softly. "I haven't introduced you to Ellie here, have I?"

A small smile creeps up his face. "Hello, Ellie. Nice to meet you."

"Thanks, you too, _Four_…"

He raises an eyebrow dramatically. "Why the emphasize on my name?"

I shrug, though it should seem pretty obvious. Anyone with such an odd nickname should expect some questioning.

Before I can say anything though, I feel a tap on my shoulder and come face to face with Charlie, once again.

"Um, Amar is already leaving …" he points to a narrow hallway where I spy a few straggling transfer initiates as they walk single file out the door.

"Oh."

Charlie and I jog towards the exit, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment for not even paying enough attention to follow.

_Note to self: work on your self composure._

_7:13pm_

The flickering lights cause me to blink a few times to get the dark spots out of my eyes as we enter the dormitory. Once my eyes adjust, I see the room is nothing fancy, not that I suspect anything in Dauntless is considered fancy.

Five bunk beds are lined up on either side of the room, neatly made with black comforters and pillows.

"Boys on this side," Amar gestures towards the left side of the room. "Girls on the right."

"I call top bunk!" Arthur shouts, scrambling up a ladder to the nearest bunk bed on the boys' side.

"We can all have our own beds, dipshit," Xavier rolls his eyes.

"Yes, we usually have more transfers than this, _but_ there are more Dauntless born initiates than usual," Amar tells us, rubbing the back of his neck.

My eyes scan the identical bunks, but most of them are already taken; only the one on the far end, straight across from Charlie's, is empty. I head across the room, chewing away on my fingernails though I know it isn't becoming.

A habit I've had ever since I was diagnosed with social anxiety when I was eight is nail biting, and I still haven't been able to beat it. When I was younger being in a crowd used to scare the shit out of me. Not because I'm claustrophobic or anything, but because being around a lot of people freaks me out. Not just strangers; friends, family members, etc.

It got so bad at one point that I actually fainted at a Sunday visit to the market with my mother. That was when I was five. I wasn't diagnosed for another three years after I had a nervous breakdown at school, so my mom brought me to the doctor to see what the hell was wrong with me. The doctor had asked me if I had any habits or whatever that made me feel less panicky, and I said yes: nail biting.

Even though I kind of 'grew out' of my anxiety (meaning I don't begin to hyperventilate whenever I see a group of people), I still bite my nails until they bleed whenever I'm nervous or anxious.

And unfortunately for me, it looks like I'll be feeling like that a lot here.

_11:11pm_

_Stop it, _I scold myself silently. _Stop crying._

_"I'm trying!"_ My brain shouts urgently.

But my eyes have other plans, apparently, as another salty tear streaks down my flushed face.

Despite the fact that my face was heated in embarrassment for crying, I shivered in the loose fitting Capri sweatpants and flowy black top that Dauntless provided us as pajamas.

Pulling my head under the thick covers like a turtle going into its shell, I screw my eyes shut, a lame attempt at trying to block out the images of Poppy's painted finger nails releasing the edge.

_Why couldn't she have just held on a bit longer?_

My heart begins to ache in such an intense and painful way that I feel as if my chest might shatter like broken glass, revealing all of my weaknesses and sorrow.

I hug the extra pillow I brought up from the bottom bunk to my chest, hoping to relieve some of the severe pain.

_Why didn't she just swing her leg up? She could have yelled a bit sooner._

Why am I blaming her? She's the one who is dead on the pavement, not me.

Maybe I'm blaming her because she can't defend herself. To make me feel better because I know it was really my fault.

_Oh, Poppy. What have you gotten me into?_

_8:05am_

I wake to concerned grey eyes hovering over my face. I shriek and scuttle away from the alarmed girl, nearly falling off the top bunk.

"Um, Ellie?" the short Erudite is perched on the top rung of the ladder, her knees resting on my mattress.

"Mercy! What are you doing in my bed?" I hear a few sniggers from the boys' side of the dorm.

I roll my eyes and call out to them, "Perverts!"

She smiles apologetically. "Sorry. Some guy came in awhile ago and told us to be ready in ten minutes. Amar is coming in to talk to us about the initiation process. I guess you didn't hear him."

"What guy?" I ask curiously, inwardly smacking myself. _Stupid Candor traits. _"Oh, and thanks for waking me up."

"No problem," she slowly backs her way down the ladder, clutching the rungs tightly. "And I think his name was Eric, or something? Long black hair, lots of piercings, generally scary…?" Her eyes shifted around nervously and she bit her lip.

_Is she scared of heights? _I wondered. But no, when her feet touched the ground, she still wore the same distressed expression as before.

"Oh, yeah. I remember him." I wrinkle my nose up in disgust. Just the memory of the greasy haired boy rebuking me last night was enough to make me hate him all over again.

Mercy laughed nervously and I raised an eyebrow as I began to inch my way down the unsteady ladder.

"What?"

"Oh, uh… nothing."

Mercy scratches carefully at her bare wrist, her long sleeved black shirt rolled up to the elbows.

"Where did you get the clothes?" I asked, bewildered.

She pointed behind me at the bottom bunk. "They'll provide us with one outfit, shoes and a pair of pajamas, but the rest we have to purchase ourselves."

I nod and scoop up the black jeans, combat boots and the black and silver t-shirt. I wonder why my outfit is different than Mercy's.

Remembering the brief tour from Amar last night, I wander out of the dormitory, searching for the girls' bathroom.

_Amar: This is the bathroom. Down there is a water fountain. Goodnight, everybody._

_Clarity: But where is the-_

_Amar: Goodbye._

I roll my eyes and glance down at the watch still on my wrist from yesterday. I know it's bad to keep old faction keepsakes around, but I can't help it. My father gave me this watch a few days before he passed away.

My thoughts are interrupted when my cheek hits something- hard.

"Oomph!" I wheeze, backing up from the black t-shirted boy. "So sorry!" I gasp, rubbing the side of my face.

"No, no. It's my fault," I look up and meet the dark chocolate eyes of the former Amity boy.

"I'm Eleanor," I supply quietly, sticking my hand out to shake. _Wow, I am so lame._

The boy flashes me a wide white smile and scratches his buzz cut a bit while sticking out the other hand. "Tyler."

I shake his hand three times, his palm warm and smooth against mine. It has been ages since I have held anyone's hand. Well, any _boy's _hand. I shook Lauren's just yesterday.

I pull my hand back quickly, worried that it seemed weird. But Tyler just continued to smile.

"You from Candor?"

"Mhmm. Amity?"

He nodded, and suddenly I felt self conscious about my bed-head and mussed up pajamas.

"I better go get dressed, but it was nice meeting you." I start to head towards the bathroom, hugging my clothes to my chest.

"Sure, but I have a question first: Why are your eyes like that?" he says, referring to my heterochromia.

"It's called heterochromia. It's the lack of melanin in the eyes. It runs in the family; my dad had it too," I've memorized that little spiel because it always comes up eventually. I'm surprised nobody else has noticed it, to be honest, though it is hard to tell in the darkness of the Dauntless HQ.

"What do you mean had…?" Tyler lets his voice trail off when he realizes the meaning behind my words. "Oh. I'm sorry. I better let you change, Eleanor. See ya."

"Bye!" I call as he jogs towards the doors of the dormitory, his muscles straining against his tight black shirt.

God, he was hot. And polite.

_Sure beats some other boys I can think of…_ Arthur's mischievous smile flashes through my mind as I shoved open the bathroom door, nearly hitting Clarity in the nose.

"Aah!" she shrieked dramatically, bouncing backwards.

"Sorry Clarity!"

"Ellie? Oh God, it's just you. I'm fine." A grin spread across her forever pale face, reaching her slanted black eyes. "Wow, I haven't talked to you in forever."

I snort quietly and mutter under my breath, "Ever since Isabel started sitting with our group at lunch, nobody has really talked much at all."

Clarity laughs good-naturedly as my cheeks light up in embarrassment. I hadn't meant for her to hear it.

Even though I never knew her well, I can already tell we'll get along well.

"Very true. Do you know Kate?" she asks, gesturing towards the willowy blond haired girl who stands by the mirror applying mascara.

"No. Did she sit with us at lunch?" I had trouble remembering most of our little misfit group, but Kate looked a tad familiar and the name rang a distant bell.

"Not always," Clarity's voice dropped lower so Kate couldn't hear her. "She skipped a lot of school."

"You know I can hear you, right?" Kate snapped, capping her mascara and sticking into the pocket of her hoodie.

"No you can't. What did I just say?"

"Well, I don't know what you said, but I know that it was about me."

"Nothing mean, I promise!" I piped up. "I'm Eleanor, by the way."

"Well now thanks to Miss Blabbermouth over here, you already know I'm Kate." She headed towards me; a swagger similar to Arthur's embedded in her step.

"Want a cigarette?" she asks me, unzipping her boot to reveal a pack of cigs.

"Uh, I don't really smoke."

Kate shrugged, a smirk planted on her face. It wasn't exactly mean, but it sure wasn't very inviting.

She slid two cigarettes out of the cardboard and placed one in Clarity's open palm as she struggled to open her jacket pocket. Grinning, she triumphantly pulled out a red lighter.

Clarity lit hers first, Kate nearly snatching the lighter from her as if she couldn't wait another second to smoke.

"You sure you don't want one, Elle?"

"Umm…" Ugh, I've never been one to give into peer pressure but...

"Sure."


	9. Keep It on the DL

CHAPTER NINE

_8:25am_

I scowl at Clarity and Kate's amused expressions as I cough and sputter from inhaling the chemicals into my lungs.

"Why-" choke "-didn't you-" gag "-tell me it-" spit "was that bad!"

Clarity and Kate exchange a humorous glance before patting me on the back.

"First time's always the worst," Kate chuckles with a grin.

I turn on the tap and stick my mouth under the faucet, rinsing my toxic breath out with cool water.

I twirl towards her, wiping my mouth on my wrist. "I am _not _trying that again!" I clutch at my chest dramatically. "You would have to be crazy to smoke those on a regular basis!"

Clarity shrugs and heads out of the washroom, cigarette still dangling out of her lips.

Raising an eyebrow at Kate I ask, "How long have you been smoking those?"

"Two years and counting!" she winks before taking another drag. "We've got like three minutes. Better get changed."

_8:32am_

I enter the Dormitory with my nose wrinkled in disgust; the smoky smell still clings to my clothing stubbornly.

"Candor," a harsh voice barks. "You're late."

I snap my head up in surprise and meet the threatening glare of Eric, his eyes narrowed at me.

"S-sorry. I was getting changed," I stutter, face reddening.

He smirks, noticing how startled I am in his presence. "Don't need the details."

I roll my eyes cheekily and scurry towards the rest of the initiates. Some throw me sympathetic smiles, but most just smirk.

I dump my pajamas on my bottom bunk and reside next to Mercy as Eric begins to speak again.

"For any of you who don't know, my name is Eric. Things got off track last night so I never had time to explain how initiation is going to work."

I take a fleeting look at Mercy who seems even more agitated than me; her eyes flit around nervously, she bites her nails, and her arms tremble subtly.

"Like Max told you last night, there are three stages. Thanks to some _improvements-" _I hear a scoff come from the back of the room and rotate my head to see Four, a tight sneer playing on his lips.

"Gotta problem, Four?" Eric snaps indignantly.

"Nope." He shakes his head numbly.

I frown in confusion. _What was that about? _

"Anyways, slight adjustments have been made to initiation process this year. Self defense, combat and physical strength have finally surfaced into the method, so this year physical training is first."

I inwardly scoff. This guy talks like a freaking Erudite! _What a tight-ass._

"Today you will learn to shoot a gun and how to win a fight. Tomorrow you'll be putting what you learned into action." He scratches the back of his neck, frowning.

"Forgetting something?" Four urges from his spot by a blank chalkboard.

"Oh, right," a sinister smile spreads slowly across his face, reminding me of the snarling Doberman pinscher from the Aptitude Test. "At the end of each round of initiation, there will be some…cuts. Only the top 10 will move on."

"And what about the rest?" Charlie chokes out.

"They become Factionless," Eric states simply with a shrug.

"How… how will our ranks be determined?" Mercy squeaks from beside me, not daring to look up to meet Eric's smug stare.

"The more fights you win, the more likely you won't have to worry about that," his eyes scan over her, absorbing her flaws like a sponge. "Or I suppose the more fights you lose..."

I hear Arthur let out a low warning noise, almost a growl. Eric glares at him in response.

Mercy just nods, chin quivering. I give her a curious look, but she doesn't notice. How come she doesn't stick up for herself? The only thing I hate more than douchebags like Eric is people who let douchebags like Eric walk all over them.

"What comes after the fights and combat training?" Clarity voices from the other side of Mercy.

"That's, well- a surprise." He grins in a menacing way one more time before turning towards the doors and exiting.

Four gives us a curt nod and says, "Follow me. Amar is running a bit late today."

_8:44am_

We're about halfway to the Training Room before I realize I forgot my sweatshirt. I break away from my quiet conversation with Charlie and jog up to Four who is leading us up a precarious stone pathway.

"Um, Four?" I say, tapping his arm. "I forgot something in the dorm. Do you mind if I go back and get it?"

"Sure," he answers stiffly, not turning to face me. "Just be back quick." He points up the path to a staircase. "That's where the training room is. Meet us there."

"Okay, thanks!" I turn on my heel and sprint back towards the dorms, taking notice that we are short two initiates.

I shove open the doors briskly, not caring how loud I am. My loose curls tickle my chilled arms as I bend over to retrieve the black zip-up hoodie from my bottom bunk.

Slipping it over my arms, I become aware of the sound of a girl crying. I quirk my head in the direction of the sobbing and catch a calm voice trying to sedate her.

"I just can't-"the girl's voice catches as she lets out a faint sob. "-handle him being here and acting like nothing ever happened!"

"Shh, I know, I know."

I realize the sound is coming from the water fountain just down the hall from the dorm. Being the nosy Candor I am, I inch slowly out of the dorm, my head cocked attentively to the side.

"He just makes me so anxious whenever I'm around him," the girl pauses to hiccup and blow her nose. "And it's like he enjoys being an ass to me."

"But wasn't he always like that, Mercy? What's so different about it now?" the second voice, distinctly male, asks her quietly. _Mercy?! _

I come to the slow realization that if the girl is Mercy, the boy has to be Arthur because he would be the only one who knew what had happened to her before the Choosing Ceremony.

"I know it's dumb to worry about it now, especially with everything going on, but I still love him."

_Who does she love? _My Candor gossip senses were tingling with anticipation. I gradually lean in to peek around the corner, waiting for Arthur to reply.

I see him running his hand up and down Mercy's slender arm soothingly. "Yeah, but he's a dick now, Merc." She looks up through a curtain of ink black hair and supplies a watery smile.

"Yeah, I guess," Mercy links arms with him casually and begins to walk towards the corner. My eyes widen in fear as I duck back behind the wall, ready to run. "I just hope Eric isn't going to make initiation Hell for me."

Arthur chuckles, their footsteps quickly approaching. "I think initiation will be Hell with or without Eric around."

My mouth falls open as I begin to dash down the hallway.

_Eric? Mercy's in love with Eric?_

* * *

**Sorry about the long wait but I've been really busy with school and hockey lately! (Yay for the Leafs for making it into the playoffs!) Anyways, I know this chapter is kind of boring and short but it's more of a filler chapter than anything. The next one will hopefully be more exciting! :D Thanks for reading and I'll try to update sooner. Please comment/favourite.**


	10. Tenacity & Terror

CHAPTER TEN

_8:49am_

As I run up the empty path towards the Training Center, everything falls into place; why Mercy is always so nervous around Eric, why Eric acted like a superior Erudite, why someone as petite and panicky as Mercy would even transfer to Dauntless in the first place.

But the only thing I don't get is… why _Eric_, of all people? I've known Mercy for what? Less than 24 hours? But I'm already repulsed at the idea of Eric even _looking_ at her.

Why though? I shouldn't even be worried about her; she can't even defend herself! We're not even technically friends. And though I cringe to say it, Eric is right; she probably won't last long here anyways.

A shudder runs through me as I think back to Aiden and I's last conversation before he became Factionless.

_"How are things here?"_

_He grinned from ear to ear, his expression borderline aloof. "Great, Ellie! They've seriously got _the _best cake-"_

_"Leave it to you to pick out the best food within your first week here, Aiden!"_

_He laughed heartily, giving me a playful noogie. "Ah but it's so much better than Candor ice cream!"_

_"Now _that _I doubt!" I scoffed, rolling my eyes._

I bite my lip as I head up the stairs as quickly as I can.

_If I ever become a full Dauntless member, I need to try some of that cake._

_8:52am_

As soon as I walk into the training center, as if in sync, nine heads swiveled around to stare at me.

It was like coming into class late all over again.

Luckily, it doesn't look like I've missed much; people are just milling around, looking anxious and bored at the same time.

I spy Clarity, Xavier, Charlie and Kate lounging around on the floor by a table covered in guns. My heart race picks up suddenly and at first I mistake it for fear; but no, I realize as I head closer to it that the rapid beating in my chest is from anticipation.

I'm distracted from my thoughts when Charlie voices from his spot in the corner, "Hey, Eleanor! Come over here!"

I force a smile onto my face as I stride across the lengthy room towards the group of four; all former Candor. Mercy and Arthur aren't back yet and Tyler is standing near the doors with Four, intensely discussing something.

"Where did you disappear off to?" Xavier asks, his voice muffled by a blueberry muffin. Even though I've known him since I was little, that was probably the first time he's ever talked to me.

I tug on the hem of my new sweatshirt. "I was cold."

He nods and turns back to Kate, wiping the falling crumbs from his chin.

I lower myself onto the floor in between Clarity and Charlie, tugging my frizzy curls to one shoulder.

"Let me warm you up next time," Charlie says in a false seductive tone as he wiggles his brown eyebrows at me.

My cheeks flush in embarrassment, even though I know he's just joking. "What?"

"I mean, I know you're always _hot…"_

People often mistake me as pretty just because all my features are properly proportioned. But when people get a closer look, they realize that I'm not beautiful, I'm actually quite plain.

"What happened to the quiet Charlie who could barely ask me to pass the salt?" I ask curiously, raising an eyebrow. Are we… _flirting? Oh please, no. Not this again!_

He chuckles softly, his chocolate brown eyes locked with my irregular heterochromia-effected eyes. "He became more _dauntless. _See what I did there?"

I roll my eyes and shove him good naturedly.

"Yes, we all see what you did there," Kate says sarcastically. She turns to me with a wink and pulls out a chocolate chip muffin from a brown paper bag on the floor beside her. It's only then when I realize while I was still fast asleep, everyone else was eating breakfast. My stomach grumbles as if on cue.

"Want it? I'm not hungry anyways."

I grin at her. "Oh, thank you!" I gingerly reach out and grasp the muffin delicately, sniffing. _Mmm, it smells just like Mom's baking._

I carefully peel off the wrapper and basically inhale the entire muffin, reminding me of how I ate the morning of the Aptitude Test.

I wonder what my mother is doing right now; perhaps heading off to work or making herself breakfast or still sleeping in.

I choke on the muffin suddenly and gasp, pressing my hands to my chest.

"Woah, slow down there," Clarity warns.

But I didn't choke because I was eating too fast; I choked because of just the thought of my mom living her life without me, well it… scared me.

So instead of bursting out crying right then and there, I swallow down the memory of my mom, just like I've been swallowing down memories of Aiden for the past couple years.

"That's what she said!" exclaims Xavier, snapping me out of my daze, Charlie joining in with laughter.

"My dear brother, could you get any more dirty minded?" Clarity sighs.

I raise an eyebrow in surprise. "Brother? You two are siblings?"

Xavier snorts. "Yeah. We're twins. You've known us for what, eight years? Yet you still didn't know that we're related?"

I guess they both have similar features; same pointy nose, same black hair, same slanted brown eyes that are so dark they're almost black.

I laugh shakily. "I'm not very perceptive, I guess." That's a lie, and since I'm sitting with a group of Candors, I know they can all tell, yet nobody acknowledges it.

The truth is I'm quite perceptive, just not exactly with people. If they've got something odd about their physical appearance, it's easy for me to forget about it because I don't really care. It might sound like I'm a better person because I don't 'judge a book by its cover' or whatever, but it actually is the main reason for a lot of my previously failed relationships.

Poppy was always different with that because she never really cared if people listened to her, she just liked to talk and needed someone to talk to. Those are my kind of people, the ones who will talk your ear off, but don't mind when you reply with one or two simple words or an occasional laugh or nod.

While the girls and Xavier bring up more of their favourite 'that's what she said' jokes, I glance over at Charlie and notice he's already looking straight at me, a shy smile carved onto his face. _Am I leading him on again?_

He _has _talked to me an awful lot in the past 24 hours, but what if I'm reading it wrong and he just wants to be friends? The last time he did that was two years ago, when we were fourteen. We kind of-sort of-almost dated for awhile, but I kept pushing him away until he finally called it off almost a month later. He said I was leading him on but I wasn't actually interested, or something like that.

See right there? I'm a terrible listener.

But how the hell am I leading him on? All I'm doing is being polite.

"Listen up!" I lazily raise my eyes from my clasped hands and meet the gaze of Amar, who has finally entered the room. He looks even more exhausted than yesterday, his chocolate eyes hollow and red, like he hasn't slept in days.

But despite all this, Amar still looks just as authoritative, his back straight and his tone directive. The way he holds himself reminds me a bit of a Candor which leads me to the question; what faction is he really from?

All of the initiates who were sitting slowly rise up from the floor and form a line, facing Amar. The door swings open behind him, Mercy and Arthur entering softly.

"I got a bit held up this morning," he says apologetically, not acknowledging the two former Erudites. He turns to Four. "You can go back to help Lauren now. Thanks for watching the transfers."

Four nods politely before stepping out of the training room and heading swiftly down the hall.

Amar faces us once more, his expression strained for some unknown reason. "Anyways, this morning you will be learning how to shoot a gun, and after lunch, how to win a fight. Since many of you will not make it in the top 5 at the end of initiation, some of you will become guards for the city, which is why you need to know how to work a gun."

I raise a hand tentatively, my Candor-wired brain curious. "Um, you said guards for the city? What exactly is the city being guarded from?"

Amar's face washes of expression in such a subtle way that only someone who has been trained their whole life to look for a fib could tell.

"I…uh…" he stutters nervously before his expression turns cold again. "That's something that you may learn if you actually become a guard. But for now it's not important."

His hesitation to answer my question only further confirms my suspicions; whatever is outside the city is incredibly dangerous.

"Nevertheless, we expect you to be ready at any time to fight or defend the city from danger. That's what the physical stage of initiation is training you for." Amar paces towards the table with the guns on it and scoops up enough for each of us.

He walks down the line and places a gun in everyone's hand as my whole body buzzes with excitement. For some reason, I'm not scared like I probably should be to fire a gun; I feel as though adrenaline is pumping through my veins instead of blood, thick as molasses. As the cold metal makes contact with my skin, I grin nervously and run my fingers up the barrel, brushing the trigger slightly.

With this gun resting in my palms, I feel more confident than usual, as lame as that sounds. It's like I feel _proud _to be holding such a dangerous weapon. I mean, it could decide the difference between life and death as easily as I could tie my shoes. But instead of terrifying me, it makes me feel powerful.

"Part of cowardice is not having the courage to act when you need to the most. Preparation helps eliminate that possibility," Amar continues, now finished handing out the guns. "Now three steps to initiation might sound intimidating, and it will be hard work, but I want you to understand that we're not doing all of this to torture you; we're doing this to prepare you."

He doesn't falter once in his little speech which makes me think that he's done it about a thousand times. I wonder if Four or Lauren is delivering the exact same one wherever the Dauntless born initiates are right now.

Even though you're technically supposed to know how other factions' initiation processes work, I know quite a bit about Candor's because well… we're obviously not known for keeping secrets.

_Lie detector test, _I think uneasily about what I would have had to go through if I stayed in my born faction. It sure sounds a lot easier; all you have to do is spill all of your secrets to the entire faction and congrats- you're a member of the Candor! But even though I kind of would have preferred a shorter initiation, Dauntless' definitely seems more thrilling. And I don't have to admit to anything embarrassing, which is an obvious plus.

A shudder runs through me suddenly. _What if the test asked me if I was Divergent?_

"Eleanor?" a voice snaps sternly. Standing in front of me is Amar, his face unshaven and rough. "Pay attention please."

"Y-yes sir."

He narrows his eyes at me but doesn't question me further. Instead, he picks up a spare gun from the table and turns to the wall with one target for each of us, painted on a giant board of plywood.

"This," he states loudly. "Is how to shoot a gun."

Amar adjusts his stance so that his feet are squared perfectly with his shoulders, clutches the gun tightly with both hands and pulls down the trigger.

Kate swears at the sudden bang, covering her ears with her hands. "Damn that's loud!"

I widen my eyes as I stare at the smoking hole in the red painted center of one of the targets.

"Now it's your turn." Amar sets his gun down by his feet as all eight of us turn towards our targets robotically. That's it. No questions, no tips, no 'words of wisdom'? Well I guess I already know that Amar isn't a man of many words, but seriously? _Come on._

Delicate but determined, I wrap my hands around the gun and narrow my eyes at the target. It's just a piece of wood; if I miss, it's not like I'll kill someone. But I decide to pretend that it will kill someone, sort of as a twisted piece of motivation, like jumping from pillow to pillow to avoid the lava, like I did as a kid.

Doing what feels natural, I bring the gun up close to my face, my finger hovering over the trigger as I hold my breath and close my eyes.

I let the bullet fly, releasing my pent up breath as it hits its mark… and the gun hits my cheek. I let out an exaggerated breath, dropping the gun and touching my burning red cheek. I didn't think about the recoil, apparently, and now my face has to pay for it. Lucky it didn't hit a few more inches up or else I would have had a black eye.

Embarrassed, I bend over and pick up the fallen gun. Glancing around to check if anyone saw me, I catch Amar's sympathetic stare.

I smile back sheepishly and shakily raise the gun once more, making sure it's far enough away from my face that the retreat won't cause any damage.

I suck in a shaky breath, focusing in on the red center of the plywood target. _It's not that hard, Johnson! You can hit it!_

This time I decide to keep my eyes open as I shoot so I'll have a better idea of where I'm aiming. I fire the gun again, the loud _bang_ never ceasing to startle the shit out of me.

I hear a gasp from beside me and turn towards the tall, skinny Erudite: Arthur. I expect him to have an amused or sarcastic smirk on, but instead his mouth is hanging open in surprise.

"What?" I snap, not even bothering to look at the target. If he's gasping like that, I must've completely missed the board.

"You-you… hit the center. On your _second _try."

I impulsively crane my neck towards the target and my mouth falls open; I _did_ hit the center circle!  
I turn back to Arthur, my mouth hanging open; he hasn't even hit the target once.

"Nice," Arthur says, a slow grin spreading across his sweaty face.

I beam at him in turn, too excited to even acknowledge that this was the first time he was even being nice to me.

Because that doesn't matter. Nothing matters; not Poppy or Charlie or my mom or Aiden.

I just might belong here, and I will do anything to make it through initiation, with or without them.

* * *

**I hope you like this chapter; I think it's one of my ****_longest. _****xD It took forever to write so please review and give me some things to work on, or any questions you have about me or the story so far. Thanks so much for reading! Next chapter should be up soon!**


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